Day 9. Quick write

lifting

Eyes open, keep it there tonight

brutal denial, you are not alone, needs still there

By any force necessary, closed off, brain gone, numb

poetry and impeaches, St James’ willows, Taylo Swift from Midnights ‘You’re on your own Kid’ , London

repetitive thoughts, slowly being more nourishing, slowly the loving ones getting less ignored

Plasticine, Miss you, miss the calm you bring, reach within me Neuroplasticity spoken words

Things shouldn’t be the way they were, just because they’ve always been, trauma, doesn’t make sense, change, move forward, growth

poetic thoughts, came from a lyric

A zap and a flash, my brain goes. Back to almost-existing, soul strength and self criticism mash

shifting, flowing, invisible bruises from where? high legs and elbow bumps, spaces to not feel my cares

Disconnect, numb - bewilderment, they want me subdued, Nothing explained

It’s OK not to be OK, you don’t always need to hide your pain, Tolerate It - inspired spoken word

Poetry aloud

Her body and soul reacted, naturally

When I touch the glass The streak marks, on me you pass, then past poetries, Long Live! Why am I a surprise? How do I first seem? What’s me

Different spaces in my life, no flow, don’t make me drop it, won’t let go, would’ve, should’ve raw

Hole inside, trying to use something outside of yourself to fix, doubting my ability and worth, ADHD adult diagnosis, validation

misogyny, sexism, ADHD