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  • Writer's picturetaratalks

Poem: Unworthy

Updated: May 21, 2021


(This is an older poem)

Why do I want to eat my feelings?

And feel less than nothing, less than worthless

I don’t know if I’m alive or dead

And what’s scarier, it doesn’t make me that nervous

Sometimes I think I don’t care

Sometimes I wish the tears would come

I don’t wanna be trapped like this forever

This unsettling, silenced fear in my tum

When I feel like crying, I sometimes laugh

Gulp down that moment of honesty

Shut it down before it starts

Because if I start crying I’ll never stop

And I don’t have the time or energy to fall apart

So, like me it’s shut down, it’s invisible,

Who would even notice for a start?

I’m on my own

It’s too deep and affects who I am at my core

But seeing them is like sitting on an electric fence

And hoping it won’t shock you anymore

Periods trigger, I’m here for other people’s benefit

An inherent sense that I’m just wrong,

Thoughts scattered and confusion

Nothing can be done

There is a reason of course

A reason for my self – doubt

Not knowing who I am anymore

High alert and danger is what life’s about

I see familiarity in faces

And think people must notice how weird I am

Creative thoughts leave me in a split second

For the brain frying electric fence (and those not giving a damn)

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