Updated: Oct 8
I was sat in counselling with an amazing therapist who I, unfortunately, only got to see briefly.
We were talking about my barriers. I explained I have walls up and find them hard to shift.
She then said, very casually, but sensitively 'What would it feel like to bring those walls down?'
I felt like I'd been punched in the gut, because she said something that was so absolutely and completely spot on.
What would it feel like to bring those walls down ? What would it be like to bring those walls down? Vulnerable, scary, terrifying And who would even stick around? Nobody would love me if they saw the real me Don t love me with or without But they d hurt me by rejecting my honesty I do have to learn to rely on others And say what I want, feel and need But the thought of opening up Makes me feel like I can t breathe My thoughts don t matter They d see how ugly, messed up and damaged I really am But if I m think protected person I have nothing but don t give a damn When you say what would that be like? I can t sit with those thoughts and reflect My stomach drops and I m frightened because I know that you are right