Notes on when the mind is MEAN (and the warmth of feeling seen)

Particles of love and hope

Energy and connection

I love what flows between me and you

Mortified, then..

Brain plays tricks

Let’s re-play every bad thing I’ve ever said

Now, with kindness

Mouth guards I don’t wear

Gum shields that I took as a ruse

I brush it off

If course, I’m not going to actually wear them

I want to take care of all the mes

and all the truths

I’m not saying anything, shifting

into contented truth

Everything is temporary

When my mind’s mean

Shut it down

It’s all just b  lls   t!

It’s only a moment

I will wait for Me to move

There’s more to come

On, and through

I can do hard things

I go out, or even stay in,

softly, gently when I need to

My imagined threat of being Told off /   Exposed

For Good

The real me, that I own

I don’t wanna go out

You bring me out

But it brings me out,

of myself

Fragile like a butterfly

Erupting and fluttering

Stung by a bee

Going to be told off

None of that’s true

It’s only a moment

I will wait for Me, to move

To putting off going outside

Doing it and calm,

Nothing-dramatic-ness, swells

Lit up, by the night sky

Comforted

Going warm and cosy

Home to bed

Laid out

Cushioned with doubt

But, I always care

It’s only a moment

I will wait for Me to move

The breeze to evolve into a

new one

When I love the freedom

of wind in my hair

I don’t know what to do with

myself

With my frame

My hands

Where to focus, and when to

send flying, my nerves

Perceived, out there

Writing a line in the

middle of the street

On a curve of, always cares

The tuts that aren’t there

There’s no need to look

I am in my moment, mine

Who cares?

Inflating and self-regulating

Forevers of moments

and the present, in which

I share

Jumping, into the night sky

Bouncing, like a bob

I can’t stay on one level

Unless, it’s insular

and afraid

Trauma, over-doing, it’s job

What to do with the tense

It never (always) falls, naturally

On the floor

I check my feet for dog poo

as I’m dirty on the inside

Do I pout when I walk cos I

don’t know what else to do

Do my eyes, seeing this, throb

I will be calm again

What do I have that’s mine

That I tried to buy

Things I haven’t bought

I ask all these existential questions

Lessons lived, knowing treasured

Recalibrating, shifting away

I don’t push and dismiss this

Don’t do the So, whats?

Moving through, into, layers that are

fraught

I move into This is me

It’s the ball

I, easily, and habitually,

have now caught