I’m not ‘allowed’

What I’m Thinking about..

I’m Tara.

I’m a poet and writer.

It’s stream of consciousness stuff, often.

Poetry, spoken word-style writing, notes ideas and blog pieces.

I’ve always had this deep-routed idea that there are things in this world that I’m ‘not allowed’. That I should resist wanting and deny myself.

It’s not for me.

I have less right to many things.

Tenderness.

Kindness directed towards me, for example.

When I think about that in those direct terms, it is quite sad.

It’s a feeling of unworthiness that has had a huge impact.

My writing is a great form of self-expression and I reflect here.

Creativity brings me joy and, ironically, gets me out of my head. The muddled-up words from inside emerge, part of my constant self-analysis, and I decipher triggers, or patterns that I’ve noticed. As if this isn’t the millionth time of decoding, in various forms! Sometimes I am seeing new, deeper parts of me.

As a late-diagnosed ADHD adult, I often come to conclusions in my head - and they float away, instantaneously, into the ether..

What I’m Thinking About..