My sun

Perfection, in an ideology

When, human, is my sun

Rays slowed

I have those that keep an eye on,

and hold me, on hard days

It rises when I get back to being, from numbness

I don’t have to warm their skin

People please and shame sink

Obliterate

I’m worthy, whether or not I think

I’m making people ‘like me ‘

There isn’t this magic end

Called done

I’m worthy of sinking behind clouds

when I need to

Lightness, that I feel loosening from

my grip

That is still there

I feel the desperation

and the damage

Moisturise and let it sink in

Enjoy the care

When, you are your sun

I’m no different to anyone else’s worthy

There’s no, them, walking on rarified air

Puffed up with pleasing

Putrid in my disbelieving

that I’m still living like this

There’s so much shame

in these spirals of self-deceiving

Puffed up, of swallowed air..

And, a fly

Gross.

The fly’s not happy about it either.

Yes, I’m all choked, and numbed up

Look at the horror of my insides

There are finally ones who see what’s true

Know who I am

What matters more is that

lightness boomerangs inwards

The younger ones are all the proof -

we ever need

The sunshine and clouds

and tail wags, if I were a puppy

Dedicated to myself

with the presumption of enoughness

and prancing,

Because everything was already in there

Knowing that I Do

We do

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